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Are You Doubting Yourself As A Parent?



There have been many days, probably more than I'd like to admit that I've had the thought "Am I a bad mum?". This thought doesn't come from nowhere...it comes from hours of no sleep where in the end I snap...or witnessing my child doing something I'm not proud of...or being judged by fellow mums for whatever quality I'm lacking or whatever skill my child still hasn't mastered...or walking around my house and finding things that should be cleaned, corners that should be vacuumed, spider webs that taunt me...and it is at these times that I doubt myself...you might agree with me...you might have had similar thoughts...or you might be that perfect parent with the most well-behaved child and a house that gleams and shines (if so then you need not read on because this doesn't concern you).
My point is that this is normal. It's hard but normal. It's only natural for you to snap...It's only natural for you to have doubts...It's only natural for you to be behind in the housework...It's natural for you to ask yourself this question but don't let it consume you. If these thoughts have ever crossed your mind, or if they do in the future, here's a few things to remember:

  1. Remember that you mean the world to a little human. That your child certainly doesn't care about unvacuumed corners or unwashed laundry...they don't care about other mums or other kids...they want you...they love you...and no matter how much havoc they cause at the end of the day, it doesn't come from hate...it comes from the curious mind of a child...and it can be easy to forget that sometimes...
  2. Remember that as a new parent or even a second/third/fourth-time parent that you are always learning and you're allowed to make mistakes. No one is perfect.
  3. Remember to make time for yourself, you might be thinking "How? I don't have time!" but trust me you do. Leave the dishes, leave the laundry...fill the bathtub with warm water, add a few drops of bubbles and enjoy. The chores can be done tomorrow but you won't get the time for yourself for a while. You need to recharge. 
  4. It's okay to ask for help. There's no shame in admitting that things are becoming too overwhelming and you need a helping hand. 
  5. Try to find the positives of your day; instead of thinking "I haven't done this" try "I fed my child", "I read his favourite book to him before bed", "my baby loves me"
  6. Enjoy every moment as it comes, enjoy the tiny arms wrapped around your neck, enjoy the sweet songs they sing with words missing in the middle, enjoy the sleepy faces and cheeky grins. They'll grow too quickly and you'll miss it if you don't slow down and enjoy it. 

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