Skip to main content

Are You Doubting Yourself As A Parent?



There have been many days, probably more than I'd like to admit that I've had the thought "Am I a bad mum?". This thought doesn't come from nowhere...it comes from hours of no sleep where in the end I snap...or witnessing my child doing something I'm not proud of...or being judged by fellow mums for whatever quality I'm lacking or whatever skill my child still hasn't mastered...or walking around my house and finding things that should be cleaned, corners that should be vacuumed, spider webs that taunt me...and it is at these times that I doubt myself...you might agree with me...you might have had similar thoughts...or you might be that perfect parent with the most well-behaved child and a house that gleams and shines (if so then you need not read on because this doesn't concern you).
My point is that this is normal. It's hard but normal. It's only natural for you to snap...It's only natural for you to have doubts...It's only natural for you to be behind in the housework...It's natural for you to ask yourself this question but don't let it consume you. If these thoughts have ever crossed your mind, or if they do in the future, here's a few things to remember:

  1. Remember that you mean the world to a little human. That your child certainly doesn't care about unvacuumed corners or unwashed laundry...they don't care about other mums or other kids...they want you...they love you...and no matter how much havoc they cause at the end of the day, it doesn't come from hate...it comes from the curious mind of a child...and it can be easy to forget that sometimes...
  2. Remember that as a new parent or even a second/third/fourth-time parent that you are always learning and you're allowed to make mistakes. No one is perfect.
  3. Remember to make time for yourself, you might be thinking "How? I don't have time!" but trust me you do. Leave the dishes, leave the laundry...fill the bathtub with warm water, add a few drops of bubbles and enjoy. The chores can be done tomorrow but you won't get the time for yourself for a while. You need to recharge. 
  4. It's okay to ask for help. There's no shame in admitting that things are becoming too overwhelming and you need a helping hand. 
  5. Try to find the positives of your day; instead of thinking "I haven't done this" try "I fed my child", "I read his favourite book to him before bed", "my baby loves me"
  6. Enjoy every moment as it comes, enjoy the tiny arms wrapped around your neck, enjoy the sweet songs they sing with words missing in the middle, enjoy the sleepy faces and cheeky grins. They'll grow too quickly and you'll miss it if you don't slow down and enjoy it. 

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Lady In The Other Hospital Bed

Storytime! I hope you're sitting comfortably because this is a story you'll want to read, there's a moral behind it, and it's true! Here we go... The news of my first pregnancy brought me so much joy; I was thrilled to be pregnant and to carry life, I was excited about being a mum and having a bump, I was looking forward to the 'pregnancy glow' and feeling the little kicks and hiccups I'd heard so much about from other mums. I was not prepared for what came the next 8 months and it certainly wasn't what I had expected. From about week 6 of my pregnancy, I had the usual symptoms including feeling tired, bloated and what I thought was regular morning sickness. But it turned out to be Hyperemesis Gravidarum  (pretty sure I spelt that right - I hope) in layman's terms it's basically morning sickness but throughout the day and every day and to the point, you can't swallow solids - including the prenatal vitamins and barely any water thro
19 comments
Read more

Minute Method - A Cure for Separation Anxiety?

A child's cry is one of the most heartbreaking sounds you'll ever hear, made worse if it's your child and if the reason they are crying is because they want you. It's absolutely heart-wrenching and we've all been there. You've just placed your toddler in bed, given them their favourite teddy and tucked them in and just as you're creeping out of the room - much like you would creep out of a den of sleeping lions - your child lets out a whimper, then a cry, then a scream. Sounds familiar? Well, momma, I have the solution for you. My 2-year-old went through the majority of her tiny life with a structured sleep routine that I was very proud of - might I say so myself - and so it came as a shock to me when one day, out of the blue, she refused to sleep in her bed. She screamed as soon as I put her in her crib and screamed more as I left the room. I was very confused and instantly thought she'd had a nightmare and that has caused her to be frighten
6 comments
Read more

How to Protect Your Kids From Sexual Abuse

Child abuse is one of the hardest topics to discuss and one of the hardest situations to be in, whether you are parent or child. But unfortunately we cannot continue to brush it under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist. It does and it is a mean, ugly monster but one that acts friendly and sweet only to trap you in it's arms and leave your physically and emotionally bruised. It is your responsibility, as a parent or guardian to be vigilant and to protect your children from abusers, here are some tips recommended by psychologists and police officers regarding this issue. Communicate with your child Have an open line of communication between yourself and your children from a very young age, ask them about their day, what they read, what they drew, who they spoke to, who they are friends with. Anything that is on their mind. Don't interrogate, rather be curious. Make it a habit to pull them aside every day after school but be sure not to scold or judge them and ma
7 comments
Read more