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The myth of the Perfect Parent

I’m not the Perfect Parent. So I might not be the best person to write this. But let’s give it a go.

What makes a Perfect Parent? It really depends on who you ask. Some might say it’s a parent that devotes all their life and attention on their child, others might say the opposite; it's a parent that doesn’t spoil their child and limits the attention that they get. Some might say it's a mother that breastfeeds, others might say it's a mother that bottle feeds, co-sleeps doesn’t co-sleep, disciplines, doesn’t discipline…the list goes on.

As soon as your child is born, whether you are a mother or father you instantly have a protective instinct towards this child; I want to be there for you. I want to be the perfect parent. And the problem is we set such high standards and impossible ideas about this image of a perfect parent that we’ve imprinted into our minds that we no longer have space inside ourselves for mistakes, and if we make a mistake we don’t have the ability to forgive ourselves or our partners and this is in itself the worst mistake you can make.

No one is born a parent, no one is conditioned or taught how to bring up their child flawlessly before the child is born. Parenting is a learning process, it's hard! I know but its a process! And the sooner you realise that the sooner you will feel more confident within yourself to deal with the obstacles you face. You will make mistakes, your mother made mistakes, your father made mistakes, but you’re alive, you're breathing, you love them. Mistakes are natural and it's important to learn from them but more important to realise that it's okay if they happen.

Many people will come and go in your parenting journey and they will try to impose their thoughts and advice on you when it comes to your child. You need to learn the difference between using that advice and abusing that advice. You need to know that your child is different from their child, you are different from them and you cannot enforce everything you learn on your child, you cannot compare your child to their child – it's unfair on you both.

Raise your head high no matter what you do. You’re doing better than you did yesterday. You’re improving. Your child is alive and well because of you, if that isn’t an achievement I don’t know what is. Give yourself some credit, you deserve it.


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